The dwelling of a thoughtless teenager

Thursday, March 23, 2006

some sorrow

I guess I"ll up date while I can. A lot has happened over the course of 5 days. Lots of sorrow arguments and punishment. I only wish it wouldn't have become this bad. I guess it finally caught up to me, all my bad habits. I have to apologize to a couple other people before I can make my next move.Which I'm not sure what that would be.
Lots of trust needs to be earned back by me. I pretty much destroyed whatever was left.I hate it whenever I end up hurting good people that don't deserve it.I don't know how many times I want to apologize to a certain person before I feel forgive. Why do I feel like I committed a crime?I never want to hurt her again.I promise that I never will either.I promised to become a better person.To drop old habits and make them memories. I know I can change the horrible person inside me but I feel like I will be changing who I am. I already gave up so many other bad habits and haven't looked back on them.Those were easy to destroy though and I had a good reason to get rid of them. I guess I had someone who cared about who I was,what I did and never saw me as someone whom they didn't care what they did to themselves. I know I have someone that cared about my well being and in return I did nothing to change my habits.Now,it cost me a lot and cost them great pain. I never ment for it to happen.I dont want to ever have to listen to the emotions that went on the past couple of days.I will make it up to everyone in the end.I'll make it up to her especially.

Posted by Caboose :: 4:53 PM :: 0 Comments:

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