The dwelling of a thoughtless teenager

Thursday, March 09, 2006

A Little Post About Nothing

Well, this week cant go by any slower.I have been sick with some unknown disease and its finally decided to go away. For some reason I have been in this really depressed state and want to get out of it. I don't know why I'm so depressed!It could be the constant fear of college looming over me,my parents approval,Leah not being by my side and school. Whatever reason it is it needs to go away and become nothing more. I really don't know what else to write right now. I'm about to go and help out with building something for someone.

I'm supposed to be getting an interview with a laser tag place sometime this week. I hope I get the job but don't want to be any busier than I already am. I want to see my girl everyday but I only get to see her maybe 2-3 times a week and it really sucks.

I think that's the reason for my depressive state. I don't get to see Leah enough. She said the other day that spring is going to be very hard to see each other. She even went as far to look ahead into the Saturdays for when we can just spend a weekend together. Its not going to happen till May unfortunately. I told her last night " maybe this is a test..." is this really a test if so what of? A test of our love for each other?

We can only sit and talk on the phone for the duration of the time. This is what are relationship is centered around...A voice through a piece of machinery that sets a barrier between our voices and touch. I hate it. I don't want to always be on the phone with her. It should be the other way around. I should be seeing her atleast 23 hours a day and spend the rest sleeping. I shouldn't have to use the phone to talk to her. I should be able to walk next door and ask for her to come outside and chat with me.

I look back now as I'm reading this and notice that I'm just complaining. There are worse things in the world right now.People see this and wonder if I'm just this emotional little kid. I guess I am on the inside. Outside I barley express my feelings. I just keep them bottled up. I guess that's why I have a little anger problem. I wish I didn't though.

I don't know what else to complain about so ill just quit typing now.

Posted by Caboose :: 9:39 AM :: 1 Comments:

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