The dwelling of a thoughtless teenager

Friday, December 02, 2005

The week just became darker

As if I thought my week could not get any darker. I guess I spoke to soon yesterday. Well, this will be the second time in one day to write on this little blog of mine. I feel as if I have no one to ever talk to about my feelings. Well, I have Leah but the phone just sucks. I need someone here with me right now. I have sadly decide to drop out and quit everything that I know and love. This coming Monday I'm quitting band and jazz, quitting explorers, and quitting lacrosse. My whole life is being decided by my grades and since I failed one class my parents have seen fit that I am going to fail at life. This could possibly be the worst day of my life. I don't know if I should be bitching about this on the web when there are other problems in the world but right now I have no one to talk to.

Its amazing how a long walk can settle you down. I grabbed my jacket and just left my home for a good 2 hours to just think to myself. Have I just destroyed my life this week? I certainly hope this doesn't follow me forever. My parents are destroying mine in an instant. They have grounded me for a good three fucking weeks! I cannot express how much anger I have right now. Its not fucking fair at all. This is all my fault though. If I would have just passed my stupid English class I would be getting to see Leah every weekend but NO!

I feel as if I'm ready to give up on everything. I'm ready to just drop out of school. Is my life really pointless. My parents make it seem as if it is. I feel as if I have nothing to live for anymore. With the current grades I have I wont be going to college and doing the things I love to do. They make it sound as if I'm just going to work at a fast food restaurant for the rest of my life and live in a low income apartment.

No this is not a suicide note if anybody is getting that idea. I am just merely expressing my feelings right now.

Posted by Caboose :: 8:13 PM :: 1 Comments:

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